I promise.

Monday, February 21, 2005

Tired

Before I start going on a crapping frenzy, I would like the wish everyone a very Happy Lunar New Year. Though mine wasn't as fantastic. Kinda of expected anyway. This was because I was rushing for a series of events up ahead. The atmosphere and mood was not there. My mind seems so occupied, however I was unable to identify the problem. Eveything seemed wrong. Every action made. I am really getting very tired. Probably on the verge of heading back to some stupid "hobbies" of the past. I am just so so tired.

Work- This stupid new army life is really getting on my nerves. So much to do. It really irritates me when people say that i am leading a really slack army life. They are just so wrong. Lets talk a little about my job. I am currently working under NS call-up section. I have to create nominal roles for 20,000++ people and when they come back for reservist i have to wake up very very early in the morning. The past few days i hardly had 4 hours of sleep. Eg, today i woke up at 340am just to report for work. Nope, i dun get to go home earlier, i have to stay back. When these NSmen leave their ICT(in camp trainings) I once again have to travel back to their camps to out- process them. By then, I would most probably leave for home at around 8pm. Other then my job nature, I have a very "nice" boss. Why? Thats because I have been thrown work last minute. In the end, I have to stay back and "enjoy" the loneliness and isolation in this god forsaken land. Enough of this... I am so tired!

Feelings & Relationships- Recently, things haven't been smooth sailing. Other then having a rather healthy with my family, the water around me seems to be cooling. You may think that I am just being really paranoid, but I feel the distance. I tried hard to make things work. I am practically on my knees. However, whatever that has been done isn't enough. I have always wondered, will any/every realtionship last forever? Be it friendship or someting else. Is it very important for one to "renew" their love for each other by telling them how much you love them everyday? Does actions speak louder than words no more? I can really relate to one of Jay Chou's songs - Kai Bu Liao Kou. Have you ever wanted to say something so much but back off in the end for the fear of failure? Well, I have. Thats my weakness. Something which may cost the future dearly. I have been really bothered about this and have been seeking people for help. The throbbing pain in my head makes it worse. However, I still chickened out for the fear of going through the past once more. Perhaps my solution would be feeling in a distance. I'm afraid...so so afraid...I'm tired...so so tired.

-I guess the best isn't good enough-
PLS give me strength

I promise. 4:59 AM.

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ipromise. iwillbewaiting. tHe pAsT]] [x]September 2004 [x]October 2004 [x]November 2004 [x]December 2004 [x]February 2005 [x]March 2005 [x]April 2005 Music Mimisk8 +____tAg bOx		Monday, February 21, 2005 Tired Before I start going on a crapping frenzy, I would like the wish everyone a very Happy Lunar New Year. Though mine wasn't as fantastic. Kinda of expected anyway. This was because I was rushing for a series of events up ahead. The atmosphere and mood was not there. My mind seems so occupied, however I was unable to identify the problem. Eveything seemed wrong. Every action made. I am really getting very tired. Probably on the verge of heading back to some stupid "hobbies" of the past. I am just so so tired. Work- This stupid new army life is really getting on my nerves. So much to do. It really irritates me when people say that i am leading a really slack army life. They are just so wrong. Lets talk a little about my job. I am currently working under NS call-up section. I have to create nominal roles for 20,000++ people and when they come back for reservist i have to wake up very very early in the morning. The past few days i hardly had 4 hours of sleep. Eg, today i woke up at 340am just to report for work. Nope, i dun get to go home earlier, i have to stay back. When these NSmen leave their ICT(in camp trainings) I once again have to travel back to their camps to out- process them. By then, I would most probably leave for home at around 8pm. Other then my job nature, I have a very "nice" boss. Why? Thats because I have been thrown work last minute. In the end, I have to stay back and "enjoy" the loneliness and isolation in this god forsaken land. Enough of this... I am so tired! Feelings & Relationships- Recently, things haven't been smooth sailing. Other then having a rather healthy with my family, the water around me seems to be cooling. You may think that I am just being really paranoid, but I feel the distance. I tried hard to make things work. I am practically on my knees. However, whatever that has been done isn't enough. I have always wondered, will any/every realtionship last forever? Be it friendship or someting else. Is it very important for one to "renew" their love for each other by telling them how much you love them everyday? Does actions speak louder than words no more? I can really relate to one of Jay Chou's songs - Kai Bu Liao Kou. Have you ever wanted to say something so much but back off in the end for the fear of failure? Well, I have. Thats my weakness. Something which may cost the future dearly. I have been really bothered about this and have been seeking people for help. The throbbing pain in my head makes it worse. However, I still chickened out for the fear of going through the past once more. Perhaps my solution would be feeling in a distance. I'm afraid...so so afraid...I'm tired...so so tired. -I guess the best isn't good enough- PLS give me strength I promise. 4:59 AM. Comments: Post a Comment