ipromise.
iwillbewaiting.

Perceptions and Beauty


There are many different perceptives a person can take. There are many different ways an observer can view things. However, if these issues are viewed in the wrong manner, it may lead to undesirable outcomes. Jealousy, hate, anger, sadness... The list goes on. In today's society, one of these problems would be related to love. Lets make up and analogy - If Mary and Tom are really close friends and they do things together all the time, George(Mary's boyfriend and Tom's friend) may be unhappy if things are not interpreted correctly. Thus leading to jealousy. It is very common nowadays. It is funny that human nature allow us to think differently and come up with out with our own perceptions. Is our mind that complex till the point that we are unable to solve a fundamental problem? Will we, as human, eventually solve the mystery of our mind? Are psychologists able to solve these heterogeneous puzzles and crack the nut? The mind is so intricate, delicate. Hard to understand, easy to destroy. However, it is good that the mind is limitless without boundaries. If it is limited? Wouldn't it stifle our creativity? Will I be able to be sitting infront of my computer to type this or will I be penning my thoughts down?

-One man's meat is another man's poison-
Thank god it's true or everyone will be single, leaving the world with a single couple. As i was shopping for my graduation night, it dawned upon me the importance of beauty. First impressions usually last the longest and what are first impressions usually made of? Looks. To look presentable is one thing, to be good looking is another. Everybody wants to be good looking, hence the "beauty industry" is thriving. Plastice surgery, make-up, slimming pills, bust enlargement programmes, designer brand clothing, etc. How much will one pay for beauty? As i pass by shops and shops of Prada and Gucci, i noticed that prices are casted at exorbitant rates. A simple Paul Smith T-shirt cost about a few hundred dollars. Now, these leads to my next question. How do you define beauty? Through the design you wear or the brand you wear? Will you buy a $3 t-shirt at Tiong Bahru Market and fluant about it? I don't think so. By wearing designer brands, we are trying to create an image for ourselves. A person with class? A person with riches? It brings back the point on perceptions. Why do we have to judge someone through what they are wearing? This creates self-consciousness and not just simply vainity issue. Self-consciousness will ultimately lead to the destruction of humans. It is a very simple, but vicious cycle. For example, someone starts a trend. People start to be more aware about looks. They start to out-do each other. "How will I look better than the other person? Ahh! plastic surgery! AHH expensive clothes!" Soon more and more will be spent. With simple economics law of demand and supply, with increasing demand and constant supply, prices will inevitable increase, making simple looking clothes into velvet clothes the Gods wear just because of the prices. So can we pay for beauty? I don't think so. It is ironic for me to say this though because i did spend alot of money today and wondering - is it all worth it? Does anyone not see inner beauty anymore(not that i have any though)? Well.. this is a question most blind people can answer but not myopic people like us. We are too concern for material gains and hope that through these materialistic value of our wear can actually bring about non-material gains such as love and true emotions. Are we truely happy then? One man's meat is another man's poison - it doesn't matter if u are short or tall, green or black hair, sick or healthy, spectacles or contacts, everyone will have someone. It may not be now, but it also doesn't mean never. Just try not to be obsessed over looks and disregard what is much more important. It is something hidden in the heart, it is feelings.

-Beauty is in the eye of the beholder-





Regrets


Everyone has regrets. No is able to escape this misery. Questions of "what if" will naturally come to one's mind and this feeling isn't that fantastic if you know that the path you took in the past actually cost your precious future dearly. I am no exception.

Last Saturday I was at my school's bowling chalet at NSRCC - A place filled with recollections. Being in that vicinity naturally evoked memories. I came into contact with the past. Was the actions taken then stupid? Did I portray myself to be an idiot? Why did I do such a thing? What if I didn't do these....What if I did that..... A trend of thoughts came before me. I look at my state now and it suggested that I should not have done the things i did. But isn't it already too late? It is regretful.

Somehow, this stayover made me think about the things i have done in life. Be it family matters, friendships, love life or studies - were they something to be proud of or chagrined? No matter how these issues may seem important, it is already too late. No one can change the past. The only way to salvage a proper life is to do the right thing now and have a better, clearer future...or more desirably - to life without regrets. It is the choices that we make that matters.

Another issue that really woke me up was being mean towards someone. I finally realised that it is no fun being criticised at and still trying to take things naturally. I emphasize on being tactful, but yet, I am unable to practise what i preach. I make fun of my friends often, let alone strangers. Some may see it as a joke, but some may not. Can one differentiate someone who is sensitive or not? If you can't be sure, at least try to keep comments to yourself or find a more appropriate way of conveying your message. Though criticizing someone may be alot of joy, it also brings sadness to this world. "Hey look at that monster, her face is like a pimple plantation!" Sure, your friends may find it funny. What about the victim? "Nobody" is perfect, even narcissist should know that. Being a discriminator, i am bound to have retribution. Perhaps the retribution that i am suffering now is the guilt i have to live with or even insults hurled at me. It is sad and painful, but this is what punishments are all about - this is what life is all about.

Am i regretting being mean? Am i sincere in changing my attitude and becoming a better person or am i someone fake. Someone who is more worried of retribution and change for the sake of changing. It's my personality. Whether i change or not, time is required. Lesson to be learn - Think of the consequences before acting. I have to try to change, but it will be hard. But then again, since when was life ever easy?

Just for acknowledge- Thank you Tee Hsien and Victor. You too are true bros and i owe both of you big time. Anyway, the trip was all worth it. Finally, something i did not regret doing.

-Always begin with the end in mind-





The count down starts



"A levels over....how now?...think...and die..."

2 years of jc life just pass in a flash. I hardly had any fun and its over. Though there are many unhappy moments, politics and conflicts, it was great, especially suaning people in my class. Oh well... the end of something, the start of another.... I just know that i need not wear any school uniforms anymore other then my army uniform... Damn enlistment in 2 weeks time.. The clock is ticking... No more time.

I feel like i am a vagabond, roaming the streets of Singapore. No aim , no motive. A pest to the society? Maybe. It is hard to stay focus without an objective. Perhaps thinking too much will only cause more confusion. I feel like a kite in midair, just leaving my fate and destiny to the wind. The thread about to snap. About to transport me to another place where everything will seem foreign to me. As the hands of the wind lift me up, i feel the "carefree-ness" yet a great sense of uncertainty. What will happen to me? That is a question everyone ponders about. But how can someone who hates conformity adapt to changing society? A society that does not recognise the minority. However, this uncertainty drives me forward. Who would bother about how he does things in the present if he already knows what is gonna happen. It it this sense of uncertainty that make someone search for a better self. In search for an identity - identity of the individual, not the masses. The society does not show compassion to anyone who refuses to conform. However, in this competitive world, who would want to go against the majority? Who would take the risk of ruining his own future. A person who excels in studies or a person who refusing to stick with the normal education system - who would you hire? In this utilitarian society, the "weak and useless" gets marginalised. However, these strong fetters i must break or lose myself in dead dreams. It may seem like incongruity, but it is a decision i have made. I challenge the norm and ally with their enemies. The path may be hard as strange eyes analyse you. But is there a choice? A person with dreams? Or a living dead? (inspired by Boey Kim Cheng's - another place)

Jay Chou's concert last night was a blast! I enjoyed it so much. Though his entrance wasn't as nice as his "Fantasy" concert, the ending was real good. He sang "Kai Bu Liao Kou" and "Qi Li Xiang". He also sang all my favourite songs like "An Jing" , "Jie Kou" and lots more. Too bad he didn't sing "Wo De Di Pan". Anyway, no matter how much i paid, it was worth it. Can't wait for his next concert here in Singapore. Anyway i will end this entry here.. God Bless.

"But you shall find the band that seems to tie their friendship together will be the very strangler of their amity" - Enobarbus