ipromise.
iwillbewaiting.

Regrets


Everyone has regrets. No is able to escape this misery. Questions of "what if" will naturally come to one's mind and this feeling isn't that fantastic if you know that the path you took in the past actually cost your precious future dearly. I am no exception.

Last Saturday I was at my school's bowling chalet at NSRCC - A place filled with recollections. Being in that vicinity naturally evoked memories. I came into contact with the past. Was the actions taken then stupid? Did I portray myself to be an idiot? Why did I do such a thing? What if I didn't do these....What if I did that..... A trend of thoughts came before me. I look at my state now and it suggested that I should not have done the things i did. But isn't it already too late? It is regretful.

Somehow, this stayover made me think about the things i have done in life. Be it family matters, friendships, love life or studies - were they something to be proud of or chagrined? No matter how these issues may seem important, it is already too late. No one can change the past. The only way to salvage a proper life is to do the right thing now and have a better, clearer future...or more desirably - to life without regrets. It is the choices that we make that matters.

Another issue that really woke me up was being mean towards someone. I finally realised that it is no fun being criticised at and still trying to take things naturally. I emphasize on being tactful, but yet, I am unable to practise what i preach. I make fun of my friends often, let alone strangers. Some may see it as a joke, but some may not. Can one differentiate someone who is sensitive or not? If you can't be sure, at least try to keep comments to yourself or find a more appropriate way of conveying your message. Though criticizing someone may be alot of joy, it also brings sadness to this world. "Hey look at that monster, her face is like a pimple plantation!" Sure, your friends may find it funny. What about the victim? "Nobody" is perfect, even narcissist should know that. Being a discriminator, i am bound to have retribution. Perhaps the retribution that i am suffering now is the guilt i have to live with or even insults hurled at me. It is sad and painful, but this is what punishments are all about - this is what life is all about.

Am i regretting being mean? Am i sincere in changing my attitude and becoming a better person or am i someone fake. Someone who is more worried of retribution and change for the sake of changing. It's my personality. Whether i change or not, time is required. Lesson to be learn - Think of the consequences before acting. I have to try to change, but it will be hard. But then again, since when was life ever easy?

Just for acknowledge- Thank you Tee Hsien and Victor. You too are true bros and i owe both of you big time. Anyway, the trip was all worth it. Finally, something i did not regret doing.

-Always begin with the end in mind-